This year… wondering whether this year I had more ups or downs or both, coz what is ‘down’ is actually ‘up-side’ down….
So yes this year was an ‘up-side’ down, when we were right down.
It was like a free fall… Yes like the one I had in South Africa – bungee jumping. I was very very scared and then 1,2,3 and jump. Right down… And then when I just let go and surrender, as if God is right there to take care, I start to enjoy the show.
Not an easy year at all, as I said. But such cherishable moments.
The year began with the news that was shocking… ‘Your husband’s heart is 90% blocked, a bypass surgery is needed’. But I was not shocked!!! I don’t know why?
The days in the hospital with him felt like a mini honeymoon. Weird right? I don’t know why?
Sitting together, holding hands, eating, sharing, giggling, crying. Singing songs together. Getting shit scared together. And praying together. And also having utmost faith together.
Wow, how many ‘togethers’.
These ‘toughestest’ moments – when my son drove with absolute ease to reach the hospital, not giving way to his tears. My daughter wears her favorite new kurta, for her favorite dad, when she can’t even see him in the ICU. And a zillion littlest moments – us smiling, crying, hugging , praying, sharing…
Yes it has been hugely tough and rough. Lots of IFS and BUTS.
But amidst this we found our little lifeboat that again sailed through-teaching us so many life lessons, or should I say living lessons?
I call this serendipity or emergence. Something like, we had to lose the way, to find the way. To emerge, is to lose oneself and then emerge NEW – with changes, fresh, transparent, clear and such has been this year!!!
When I was going
I looked here and there…
I asked who, what, why where???
And someone whispered…
Love Feel Heal Care
I packed the voice…
As if I received the gift of CHOICE.
CHOICE it is!!!
And I whispered this gift…
Loud to the cloud.
Float fly rain shower pour.
It’s raining CHOICES.
Hear the whisper in the clouds.
It’s raining CHOICES!!!